In a
relationship with a fruit, sun and a man
"Newars,"
are the indigenous inhabitants of Kathmandu Valley, the capital of Nepal, They have
their own origin, identity, culture, traditions and occupations. The castes and
sub-castes have been divided hierarchically among Newars according to their
profession from a traditional point of view. They have a unique way of
performing rituals, arranging feasts, festivals, and functions which provide
the nation with diverse cultural features.
A girl of a Newari
community conducts marriage ceremony three times in her lifetime. The groom of
her first marriage is a bel fruit (Aegle Marmelos) fruit, the second is the sun
and the third is a man.
"Ihi," a marriage with a bel fruit, is considered to be the first marriage of a Newari girl.
"Ihi," a marriage with a bel fruit, is considered to be the first marriage of a Newari girl.
The bel fruit
marriage is done when the girl is seven to nine years old, or before she
attains puberty. They also have the belief that the future husband of a girl
would look similar to the bel fruit. If the fruit is bigger in size, the groom will be fat and if it's small then
the groom will be tall and good looking. Traditionally, they believe that the
married bell fruit should be kept in a safe place and after this marriage, a
girl is not allowed to eat the fruit for the rest of her life.
After
‘Ihi’, newari girls have to perform the ritual called ‘Bhara’.Which
is marriage with The SUN. Marrying the Sun is
quite unbelievable in this modern scientific world. You might be puzzled of
thinking that how is it possible to
marry a powerful fire. It is a traditional ritual for a Newari girl to marry
the Sun.It is believed that the girl is
protected by the sun from bad people and evil after this occasion.This
traditional ritual is only for the girls of age between 12-14years who are kept
in a dark room for twelve days . During these days, ”Bahra Khayak” (ghost) is
made from cotton and worshipped . Girl’s aunt, marital uncle, father, mother,
and grandmother are the most important people who have their own particular
roles for completing this ritual. After twelve days, aunt brings the girl who
will be blind folded out of the house; marital uncle puts the oil on girls
hair; father and mother gives “sagun” which is an egg and curd and the
grandmother ties the girl and the Sun as a husband and a wife.It is prohibited
for the girl to come out of the room and she is not allowed to see males of the
house.
The
Newar marriage is completed after several stages of formalities. Arrange
marriages are preffered rather than love. A father selects bride for his son
and he appoints a mediator to carry on the negotiations from both sides groom
and the bride. In the mean time the horoscopes of both the boy and girl are
examined to see if they match well or not.This is where the complication starts.
If both the parents and astrologer agree then a confirmation ceremony is
organized with several presentations of gifts, sweets, areca nut (supari) and fruits
which are sent to the Brides’s parents from the grooms’s parents. Then the date
is fixed in consultation with the Astrologer.
Before the day of actual marriage, the groom
sends 10 areca nuts, box of sindur( vermilion powder),set of clothes and various
gifts to the bride. The bride puts some vermilion powder on her head. She is
treated like a princess by all the family members and relatives as it is nearly
time to set her off to her inlaws . It is believed that girls are born to be
given away and not kept with parents. And newari families value marriages more
that any other occasions .
On
the wedding day the bridegroom’s family organizes a procession. It mostly
consists of Male relatives and friends of the family. After having been
entertained with sweets, fruits Betel nuts, drinks and cigarettes they leave
for the bride’s house preceded by a musical band. The bridegroom usually stays
back at home except in few cases. Some people take the bride directly to the
groom’s house. The bride is Welcomed at the main gate by the mother-in-law. She
washes the bride’s feet with holy water, gives her the bunch of keys, and takes
her inside the house.
Inside, the priest completes the ritual
invoking and offering food to various deities. Finally the bride distributes
areca nuts to all members of the family including the groom. The ceremony ends
with the bride and bridegroom eating the ritual food from the same Plate.
In the evening a feast is organized where all
invites enjoy the feast. The son-in-law of bridegroom's family serve the curd
while the bridegroom’s mothers serve Wine and the groom serves desserts. The
next day the new bride is formally received in the kitchen and a new member is
accepted by the family.